The Perfect Woman

I could write tons on this subject and I probably will:)

Several years ago I wrote and produced a song that sums up my feelings on this subject.

First a little background.

I had a guy ” friend” that I really did like a whole lot. He was just my type…..very tall, handsome, blue eyes, smart ….very kind….. good person …..he was the package. One night while driving on the Chicago Dan Ryan expressway speeding down the road like you do on the Dan Ryan. Liam, we will call him Liam ..(cause Liam Neesum is all the above qualities as well…) I’m in the drivers seat and I can see Liam is staring at me…..in my mind ..I’m like whoa!! A few moments later things started to escalate……. “Liam” says ” you’re really pretty”. WHAT!! Am I dreaming….did he really say that!!! A few moments later …” you know, you are smart and funny, you’re kind ….. you cook great, you are a great woman….you’re like the perfect woman….. OH MY GOODNESS!!!! I about swerved into the median. Then!!!!! Wait for it!!!! Wait for it!!!!! WAIT FOR IT!!!!!!! BUT!!!!!! If only you were a size 2… I would marry you in an instant! As my heart fell to the floor and I wanted to cry, as well as pull over on the expressway and say GET OUT! I gathered everything I could muster and laughed……. OH…. Liam…..Liam….Liam…..Liam ( you know the tone of voice I used) While chuckling I said……Liam….what makes you think if I were a size 2… I would even date a guy like you? I’d set my sights much higher. DONE! It was a quiet ride home and the last ride we took together at that.

Years later I was out with a really cool guy. Tom we will call him……cause he reminded me a lot of a cross between Cruise and Hanks. Not tall, really sweet….nice looking…… Tom and I had several dates and we just spent hours and hours talking. We got each other. One night after dinner and a play we were sitting In “Toms” car and he said very similar things. I’m crazy about you blah blah blah but…… What I really want you in a really thin body. I was kinder to him than “Liam” and said. If my “eternal forever mate” is so concerned that my earthly body fits in a worldly standard and my quality matter less than my quantity……..then you’re not my kind of man.

Well — one night I was thinking about all this –and came up with a humorous take on it all.

The perfect 10—– “The Perfect Woman”\