WHERE EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR NAME

After my first few Sundays as the church chorister, I noticed that whenever I was out someone was smiling, or waving or yelling hello to me.  I did not recognize them, but because I now stand up in front of them on Sunday and they are forced to look at me at least 3 times during the meeting that I was being recognized all the time.  One Monday morning I ran to the I.R.S. offices in downtown Salt Lake. I was standing in line and was quite surprised no one was in line.  As I waited for the worker to see me, I noticed two very attractive men standing in another line looking at me.  I thought, dang, here I am in no make-up and my hair pulled back and baggy black sweats and these guys are checking me out.  I then thought, no it can’t be me and I looked around behind me and no one was there. My next thought was oh, they must be in the ward and they are saying Hi. I started gesturing back to them and back and forth this went on and on.  I then felt something move to my left side and slightly behind me.  There was a 6-foot super model. The girl was wearing leather hot pants, thigh-high boots and a crochet halter-top, that took very little yarn to make.  She had long blonde hair and a body to die for.  I then realized that the men were hitting on her and I was just in the stream of flirts. I thought I could feel like a fool or make the best of the situation, so I thought I will let her go first and then they will watch her and I can just die slowly of embarrassment.  So I have started saying hi to everybody and  assuming they are from my church and married, so no more flirting